Choose Wisely

To continue developing awareness about the past conditioning that is affecting you today. It is key to start to uncover your negative messages.

Most of the ‘rules’ you grew up with are most likely no longer relevant. There is no law that says you have to cling to these outdated beliefs.

Think of things that you say to yourself everyday for example “I should get up in the morning” or “after years of working hard, I should be perfect” or whatever comes to you.

Perhaps you don’t say ‘should’ but instead say ‘must’ or ‘need’. These all amount to the same thing.

Task-IconClick below to open handout and complete the instructions.

You may have a hard time listing five Shoulds or you may want to write pages, but please try to limit yourself to five!

Examine your responses without judgement or anger.


Decide what to keep, and for those beliefs that no longer serve you, simply let them go!

Should is potentially one of the most damaging words in the English language. Every time we use the word ‘should’ we are making ourselves or someone else wrong. Either we were wrong, or we are wrong, or we are going to be wrong. We want to move away from being wrong. We want to give ourselves choice.

So, let’s change the word ‘should’ to the word ‘could’. The word ‘could’ gives us choice and we are never wrong, for we can always make another choice.

You may realise that you have been doing things for years that you never wanted to do at all. It was because a parent or someone else told you it was something you ‘should’ do.

Sometimes the reason you don’t do things is because you are frightened to do them. This is a totally different issue. Instead of being wrong, you see that you need to work on feeling ‘safe’.

Task-IconNow take a moment to write in your journal and answer the following questions.
1. What did you discover when completing the exercise?
2. What shoulds have been affecting you for most of your life?
3. Could you feel a release in some part of your body when the ‘should’ was changed to a ‘could’

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

Marie Curie